Choosing Relationships over (Temporary) Relief
Featured Image: Coach Jane (bottom right corner) leading a Deacon 101 workshop with Teresa (left, middle) and other deacons from Maranatha CRC (Cambridge, ON) and Community CRC (Kitchener, ON) in October 2024.
Written by: Wendy van Leeuwen
God often grows beautiful relationships in the soil of ordinary beginnings. For deacon Teresa Wikkerink and church member Joan, it all began with a hot tub purchase more than 20 years ago. “I was a member of the church and I was dealing with some mental health issues. I had difficulty keeping a job,” recalls Joan. “I needed some help.”
It was another opportunity for the deacons at Drayton CRC to fulfill their mandate to reach out and support marginalized people in their church and community. “At every deacon meeting,” shares Teresa, “we consider this question: is there anyone who has come to our attention who needs some extra support?” The deacons soon recognized Joan as someone they could walk alongside. They stepped up to offer practical support with some immediate housing and other needs, but that was only the beginning of a long-term relationship that has yielded many benefits for Joan, the deacons, and the congregation as a whole.
Drayton CRC is a small rural congregation in Southern Ontario with a big heart for missions – both locally and abroad. Projects they have been involved in and continue to support include Ramoth House and the local youth centre (both former NewGround partners), along with support for local and international missionaries. The six deacons also work closely with the pastoral care committee and consider how they can be the hands and feet of Jesus in situations such as Joan’s. Her challenges were complex and not easily or quickly fixed, but the deacons used a variety of strategies and resources to walk through a number of difficult circumstances with her over the last two decades.
Through her own three terms as deacon, Teresa worked with other deacons and church members to support Joan through numerous appointments and applications. They assisted her with the difficult process of applying for Ontario Disability Support Payments. She was denied a number of times, but they persevered through the frustrations and setbacks, and then celebrated with her when she was finally approved. “Joan has been so great to work with,” emphasizes Teresa. “She has allowed me to be part of her life. I’ve come to know and appreciate her as a whole person and to value her friendship.”
Relationships are a huge part of being a deacon. – Teresa W
Today Joan works part-time and is looking forward to spending more time on her new hobby of painting when she retires. She has many friends and is a valued member of a monthly prayer gathering at the church. She also organizes a monthly lunch social for a group of six or seven women from the church, some of whom also know what it is like to be lonely and on the fringes. “I was very much alone,” says Joan, “but I have so many friends now. My circle has grown bigger. I have more confidence in my abilities.” She is optimistic about the future, and feels that her goal of getting into a better housing situation before too long is attainable.
According to Teresa, deacons need to look beyond offering short-term help and church programs. “Not only should we lend a hand, but we should walk alongside people and build a trusting relationship. Relationships are a huge part of being a deacon.” She emphasizes that relationships must be given time to develop and that trust must go both ways between deacons and those they are helping. “Treat people as you would like to be treated. It’s so important.” Her advice for other deacons is to get to know people – especially those on the fringes- listen to their stories, and appreciate them for who they are.
Is your team of deacons looking to go deeper?
Do you need help with your benevolence ministry?
Deacons – you don’t have to do this alone!! Diaconal Ministries is here to help! We offer a variety of resources and workshops:
Our Helping Without Harming in Church Benevolence workshop will help churches be better prepared to walk alongside individuals or households, bringing positive and long-lasting changes to their lives and ultimately contributing to them being restored to all that God intends them as image-bearers.
Or utilize our new Diaconal Coach-at-Large, Anja Attema! Anja has spent over 30 years in the financial industry and has worked with hundreds of families and individuals to create the best version of their financial story. She emphasizes that a financial story not only considers income, expenses, debts, and spending habits, it also considers how finances significantly affect relationships, mental health, and one’s outlook of the future. Anja will work with your deacons and those you aim to walk alongside!
